For all that he is homeless himself, The Boyo tries to help other homeless people. For this reason, he has a whole cadre of people who live at The Park he visits. He often takes them food or scrap lumber from his remodeling project to use as firewood. And from these people, he learned the concept of Crazy Money.

Crazy Money refers to the lump sum payment you get after you persist in your claims of disability and are awarded Social Security Disability Income. One reason it’s known as Crazy Money is that most of those folks get it for disabilities having to do with mental illness, in other words, they are getting paid for being crazy.

A further insanity having to do with these lump sum payments is that the process of applying for SSDI is so cumbersome, and takes so long, that the back pay you get comes in huge sums for someone who has been living in abject poverty, or depleting their savings for three or four years. For instance, I think I ended up with close to $50,000. That’s a lot of money in my part of the world.

Because they get these huge payments, people tend to go crazy with it. I know I did. I had wondered why all these shiny, new cars had disabled plates on them. After I got my payment, I realized that a lot of people took their lump sums and bought new cars outright. I thought about buying a vehicle, but realized there is no parking around my building and that with gas, insurance, license tabs and maintenance, a car would be a money pit for me. It was the one good decision I made with my crazy money.

So I bought a computer with it, a fancy new one to take the place of the second-hand one I had that had quit a few weeks before. And a desk for it, and about 75 peripherals, and software, and only goddess knows what. I took several trips, a couple to see my Dad, and one with The Boyo just for fun. I got a new recliner, and a new bed with a decent mattress. I saved some of the money, but eventually pissed it all away.

The SSDI system is insane in itself. You have to be “totally disabled” to qualify. And the way they run it, you don’t qualify unless you are in a persistent vegetative state. The way the law reads, if there is any job you could possibly do, you don’t qualify, even if these jobs are now non-existent. So, since I had had a job in a call center, it was deemed that I could work in a call center, despite the fact that most of the jobs in call centers had moved to India by that time. So, you apply and are denied, appeal, and are denied, and then it goes to an administrative law judge, who usually approves you, because they know if you’ve lasted this long, probably you’ll never be able to work again. And then, with all the paperwork that comes with your award, the system sends you a Ticket To Work. Yes, now that you’ve spent four years proving you can’t work, they send you a Ticket To Work. But that is a post for another day.